October 1985
Once upon a time there were two cows standing in a field. These cows looked exactly alike—same size, height, weight and the same spots on their backs. Well, one day the first cow said to the second cow: “How come we look so much alike?” And the other one replied, “Because we are the same cowl!”
Christgau Consumer Guide
ROBERT CHRISTGAU
I didn’t trust my instant attraction to these obviously derivative occasional pieces until I looked at the label and realized that five of the 12 originated with “Trad./Arr. by.” There’s no tune like an old tune, and if this music really was “inspired by the Dirty Dozen Brass Band,” then I think Byrne’s fusion of New Orleans horn voicings with Soho-avant calm is more satisfying (if less potentially exciting) than theirs with bebop and funk.
Rock 'n' Roll News
Everything’s comin’ up jurisprudence! So it is for the lovely Madonna, who—along with her manager, Fred DeMann, and record label, Sire—is being sued by Camille Barbone, who purports to have discovered Ms. Ciccone living in a rehearsal studio in 1980... after which she “set her up in an apartment, put her band on salary, clothed her, fed her... all the things you do.”
The Beat Goes On
Laura Fissinger
NEW YORK—We know, we know. The letters we choose to print in the front of CREEM are from people awaiting release papers from places with barbed wire and bad food. But you normals out there also write to us, and the question you most often ask is none of your damn business, thankyouvery-much.
KATRINA & THE WAVES DOING SWIMMINGLY
Iman Lababedi
One of the real pleasures in chronicling the popular music business is in watching the heady excess of overnight stardom. For instance, in the Christmas of 1983 I spent a day with a pleasant young singer, driving down to New Jersey with her for a spot on the Uncle Floyd Show, discussing feminism, lesbianism, rebellion.
Features
Tom Petty’s New Tales Of The Old South
Gary Graff
First there’s The Hand Story.
HOWARD JONES WORDS OF WISDOM, MOOS OF PEACE
J. Kordosh
Howard Jones doesn't like to do interviews. He believes eating meat is the last remaining barbarism in Western society. And that the universe is perfect. He gets upset with people who feel his lyrics are fluff. Plus, he doesn’t mind if you smoke. In other words, an ideal sort of guy to spend some time with.
SCORPIONS SHOCK HORROR
Annene Kaye
My Mind Told Me It Was Fate...My Editor Told Me It Was Due Friday!
Paul Young U.K. Soul Man
Sylvie Simmons
At the end of the day nothing in pop music matters much anyway except the lead singer of the Shangri-Las. But there’s a space where an opinion should be and they’re paying me to differentiate, so: In the greeting-card aesthetic of pop there’s still an occasional Hallmark. Among the women in fishbowls and buttocks in shorts and boys in dresses you can camp under. once in a while you’ll find a pop singer who's simpiy that.
Rock ‘n’ Roll Calendar
CALENDAR
LEMONS OF THE GODS
Bill Holdship
Whether you loved Led Zeppelin, hated them or fell somewhere in between, Hammer Of The Gods is a fascinating.
media COOL
Wait until next year and be the last person on your block to have your very own 1986 Bitch-Of-The-Month calendar. One that’s bound to set feminists a-fumin’, and with good reason. Filled with “things women do” (Oct. 30, 1986: stock up on Midol), and kinda nice, old b&w photos with captions underneath them (“Yes! Yes! I shot my boss! It was PMS!!”).
Video Video
IT’S ALL RIGHT MA, I’M ONLY LAUGHING
Billy Altman
If there’s one commodity that sure seems in mighty short supply these days along the old video trail, it’s a sense of humor.
Creem Profiles
THE SMITHS
(Pronounced “Boy Howdy!”)
Records
CALL OF THE MILD
Richard C. Walls
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate what post-punk heavy metal is attempting to do.
45 revelations
Ken Barnes
What this column needs is a recurrent hook. A recent informal poll I took on the street showed responses evenly divided between “get outta my face!” and “great column, bud, but it needs a recurrent hook.” Heeding the voice of the people, I stopped taking informal polls on the street and came up with an elementary recurrent hook.
ROCK • A • RAMA
This East-West fusion stuff may not be everybody’s cup of curried meat but Song For Everyone has gotta be some sort of a milestone within the genre. I think I can safely say that L. Shankar, one of Ravi’s offspring, is the first Indian 10-string double violinist to record with a drum machine.
CREEM'S 1985 DRUM SUPPLEMENT
Scott K. Fish
The heroes of rock drumming will always be (have always been) what David Garibaldi refers to as "thinking drummers.” And if you’re tired of playing the same old licks, if you have nightmares about being eaten by a drum machine, I would strongly suggest that you journey backwards in time to pay aural homage to the pioneers of rock drumming.
SHILA E.: THE LADY CAN PLAY!
Scott K. Fish
In 1982, while I was still behind the desk at Modem Drummer, we ran a feature interview on percussionist Sheila Escovedo.
Backstage
Backstage
Where the Stars Tank Up & Let Their Images Down
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