October 1983
LAST WORD ON SUBJECT ARGUING with the neighbors! What will the chicken say?! Signed, Mentally lost in Newhall along with some 10,000 charismatic youth group members THE ANSWER MAN DOZES When you think about it, some singers ask the stupidest questions!
CHRISTGAU CONSUMER GUIDE
ROBERT CHRISTGAU
A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS: “Listen” (Jive):: If you think I enjoy enjoying this epitome of new wave commercialism, this pap beloved of no one but MTV-addled suburbanites (not even NME, ever!)—well, you’re right. I’m not just being campy, either, except insofar as camp means the luxury of surrender to stupidity—in this case to sheer, sensationalistic aural pleasure, whooshes and zooms and sustains and computerized ostinatos and English boys whining about their spaced out, financially secure lot, all held aloft on tunes Mr. Spock could hum and a beat a veejay could dance to.
ROCK 'N' ROLL NEWS
The bad news for English Beat fans is that singers Dave Wakeling and Ranking Roger have left the band. The good news is that the pair have formed a new band called General Public, which’ll record for I.R.S. Records. Ranking Roger also recently joined the Clash in the studio to cut a “toasting” dub version of the boys’ “Rock The Casbah.”
THE BEAT GOES ON
Laura Fissinger
NEW YORK—Think about the reasons people give for starting bands. To get money. To get girls. To stand tall as a wimp in a jock-riddled world. To get more money. To be a great musician, whatever that might mean to a Krokus fan. I guarantee you’ve never heard this reason before.
SPARKS WILL FLY, I PREDICT
J. Kordosh
Yes, they still look strange. In 1977, Robert Hull said “Sparks is just plain weird,” but I believe he was referring to their music as well as their physiques. Now—six years after—they’re every bit the brothers most likely to...uh, makes no sense?
A SYSTEM TO LIVE BY: MODERN ELECTRONICS GET FUNKY
Iman Lababedi
Mic Murphy and David Frank are best friends. They spend around 18 hours together every day developing their vision of a system. A system that affects us, mainly, because the net result is a grand slab of hard fresh funk. Yet a system which, for the main participants, is a way to work and a way of life, a freedom from the confines of rigid rock band structures via the acceptance and use of modern electronic musical instruments.
Features
FROM HOT DOG TO BIG LOG: ROBERT PLANT HITS THE ROAD
Dave DiMartino
“Why don't you take off your clothes?” asks Robert Plant, grinning, clutching at the bare white towel wrapped around his waist.
BETTER EDDIE THAN DEAD: IRON MAIDEN TATTOO AMERICA
Sylvie Simmons
A dream. I’m lounging on the balcony of a Beverly Hills hotel staring out over the pool when there’s a knock on the door. In glides a Vision, drenched in leather. James Dean’s body, Al Pacino’s face, and an upturned palm full of the finest narcotics.
Creem Profiles
SCANDAL
(Pronounced “Boy Howdy!”)
DAVE EDMUNDS: GIMME INFORMATION PLEASE!
Karen Schlosberg
A dreary late afternoon in Poughkeepsie, New York.
Rock ‘n’ Roll Calendar
CALENDAR
Eleganza
GOT PIZZAZZ (IF YOU WANT IT)
John Mendelssohn
In the months since its resuscitation, several hundred readers have written this column to ask what they should do with their hair.
CREEMDIA
John Ned Mendelssohn
In the first five minutes of Alan Sacks’ Rock 'N’ Roll Movie, Ray Sharkey (as filmmaker duBeat-e-o) looks at a likeness of Joan Jett and reverently intones. “You’re the toughest. You cut a road through the rock ’n’ roll forest that Blondie, Benatar, and Chrissie Hynde walk on.”
DRIVE-IN SATURDAY
Edouard Dauphin
The time: Summer, 1960. The place: Cambria Theatre. The Dauphin, just a deranged shaver then, attends Psycho, an Alfred Hitchcock flick destined to become a classic. The famous stabbing scene makes a profound impression on the young Dauphin.
LETTER FROM BRITAIN
Cynthia Rose
With the lazy, spectatorial languors of Wimbledon and cricket at The Oval upon us, the rush to see who would produce the first “post-Election protest” songs was brief. Wham! (Andy Ridgeley and George Michael, the dole-queue-downbeat duo who switched from street threads to leather-queen slicks to become “Bad Boys”) have taken the teenies by storm with this week’s release of their Fantastic LP.
Stars Cars
BRYAN ADAMS
A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS: HAIR APPARENT
John Mendelssohn
Since moving into it in the autumn of 1982, A Flock Of Seagulls lead singer Mike Score has scarcely seen his new flat in Liverpool 15, “where the riots were, halfway between the richest and poorest parts of the city.” Behold the travails of the touring musician.
ALAS, POOR SALMON, STING KNEW HIM WELL
Richard C. Walls
Possibly the worst thing about the Police are their reviews. From the favorable ones you’d gather that this trio is God’s own gift to the discriminating pop music fan, while from the few (but firm) detractors you get the picture of three new wave poseurs manipulatively using reggae and punk elements to serve their own emotionally chilly and ultimately banal music.
ROCK • A • RAMA
THE LOVE UNLIMITED ORCHESTRARise (Unlimited Gold/CBS):: In case you missed the presence of Mr. “Quittin’ just ain’t my shtick” and his mirror-topped sleeping bag during Camping With Barry White night on David Letterman, the sultan of sweat here aurally directs a bevy of other possible fun-filled group activities for your consideration.
A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO DRUMS
Dave Patrick
Skin Tight ’83 is our annual salute to drummers and their equipment. Perhaps at no time since we began our annual drum guide has so much diversified equipment been available to the drummer as in this year’s review. Names and addresses of companies have been provided with each piece of equipment reviewed, and we invite you to contact the manufacturers for more detailed information regarding their equipment.
THE GREAT AVANTI CYMBAL GIVEAWAY!
Here is your opportunity to win—and win big—in the CREEM and Avanti Cymbal giveaway. Pictured here is a set of Avanti matched for rock cymbals. This grand prize consists of one pair of 14" hi-hats, 1-16" thin crash, 1-18" crash, and 1-20" ride.
THE GREAT ASCEND DRUM GIVEAWAY!
Here is your opportunity to win and win big! This top of the line Ascend nine-piece drum kit can be yours by simply reading the rules and filling out the coupon below. The grand prize winner will receive the following: power toms—(1) 5½" x 8", (1) 6½" x 10", (1) 8" x 12", (1) 9" x 13", (1) 10" x 14", (1) 12" x 15", (1) 16" x 16" floor tom tom, (1) 14" x 22" bass drum, (1) 5½" x 14" chrome 10 lug with parallel snare strainer; (1) supreme snare stand; (1) supreme hi-hat stand; (2) supreme boom cymbal stands; (1) super deluxe bass drum pedal; (2) Ascend power tom tom stands.
KISS & TELL
Jaan Uhelszki
Double Trouble: Men At Work’s drummer, Jerry Speiser has an impersonator who’s really become a pain “down under” if you know what I mean. It seems “Jerry” has been giving interviews, autographs, attempting to charge a fleet of foreign and domestic autos to Columbia Records and actually getting in free into other artist’s shows (the worst offense in my book: I wouldn’t even want the real Jerry there).
Backstage
BACKSTAGE
WHERE THE STARS TANK UP & LET THEIR IMAGES DOWN
CREEM